Breast Intentions: Dublin Council Seeks to End Statue's Manhandling
Dublin City Council is in a pickle over a peculiar predicament: how to protect the modesty of the Molly Malone statue from overenthusiastic tourists.
The bronze bosom attracts visitors who believe its charms have the power to stave off bad luck. The original lucky charms?
The beloved figure of Irish folklore is a mammary magnet: overly keen visitors regularly come knocking for an opportunity to fondle Molly’s knockers for Insta pics, rubbing off their sheen. Clean fun or cause for a statuesque MeToo movement?
Not everyone is amused by the titillating tradition. After all, Molly Malone isn't just a historic statue; she's a national treasure. City council is looking for ways to bust the movement and shield Molly from further groping, having already dealt with repairs from previous abuses.
According to the Independent, Molly Malone is an important figure in Irish folklore, "the protagonist of a song about a girl who sells cockles and mussels from a barrow in "Dublin's fair city." The outfit is without doubt excellent styling for a seller of cockles.
Tilly Cripwell, a local street performer, has had enough. She's launched a campaign to end what she sees as a downright disrespectful habit. "A lot of people clamour around her, kiss her on the cheek, kiss her boobs; it's all inappropriate. It's reducing her to derision and not giving her the status of being a national treasure," she told The Telegraph.
Molly's plight doesn't end with her unwanted groping. She's also been the victim of vandals with a peculiar sense of humour, leaving cryptic messages like "Please don't, TY" and "7 Years Bad Luck" scrawled across her décolletage.
In an official statement, Ray Yeates, the arts officer at Dublin City Council, addressed the reports regarding the fondling of the fair Molly, emphasizing the detrimental effects of handling such artwork, highlighting the potential for wear and damage.
Council is looking for ways to protect the statue from unwanted advances, asking visitors to admire her from afar and leave the boob-brushing to the experts—the statue cleaners and the pigeons. Ta-ta tourists!
