Ivanna Gabbalot, Open Jaw’s potty-mouthed commentator, has decided to spend more time with a family. A pair of kind twin adult males have taken her in. And she them.
Open Jaw sprung from my loins, fully formed, many decades ago, dahrlings. The father, bless his motility, was the creator of the internet.
Ivanna Gabbalot on the struggles of friends and colleagues this week in B.C.
Since when is the language someone speaks a barometer of their abilities, dahrlings? Just because getting old …um no, that’s ageism. Which is very damaging, by the way, to ex-babes. Just sayin’…
The big sales are coming, Pumpkins. In the meantime it’s like watching your beautifully displayed ripe tomatoes shrivel up on the shelf. Unwanted. A leaky mess of gooey pulp.
Dear Pumpkins, If you can make it through a pandemic, dahrlings, you can make it anywhere. It’s your day. Your year. Your decade. And consumers know it. They want to be a part of it. Their vagabond shoes, are longing…
It is difficult to put into words what my heart is feeling at this moment, Pumpkins. It is best described as a gentle fluttering lying in a deep pool of hot lava.
A few months ago, playboy Peladeau was a dead ringer for Trudeau’s big brother. The wavy mane of thick locks, the boyish good looks, slightly spoiled and immature… you know the drill, dahrlings, the types we used to drill in…
Have you ever tried pulling on a pair of Spanx when your thighs are still dampy? The upshot is your end up with the thing firmly stuck between your saddlebag and your mid-rift – like a breakfast sausage someone gave…
Is there anything better, Dahrlings, than fluffy towels, a deep marble tub and a buffy room service boy with a thick cut of meat on his cart in one hand and your door knob in the other? Well, let me…